holy crap!

our stupid old cat regularly misses the litter box and pees just outside of it. i keep a layer of plastic under the litter box for easy clean-up when she can't fit her big fat ass all the way in.

and because she's old, she horks up stuff once in awhile. unfortunately, that isn't restricted to the plastic covered area around the litter box.  and once, just recently, she hung that big fat ass over the side of the litter box and crapped. thank god that plastic was there.

as a result, i can frequently be heard saying "shit" or "crap" or "sonofabitch" when i have to clean up after her. but tonight was the kicker.

my sister came into the bathroom where i was trying to retrieve an earring from the drainpipe (thank you allie) and told me jasmine had left a present for me.

"FUUUCK!!! where? on the plastic at least?"

"oh yeah", my sister says.

when i finished fishing the earring out, i went to check out my gift.
( cut for the poo squeamish )

"you gotta be kidding me!! no way! is this barf or crap? it's huuuuuuuge!!"

i turn around and the whole household is standing in the doorway snickering.  then my nephew comes over and PICKS IT UP.

fake poo. HAHAHA veeeeeeeeery funny. ya got me.

but there were tears from the laughing.