duhneese

tonight is "back to school" night. do those of you with kids go to these?

i'm curious, because i wouldn't think of missing it. i've never missed one since allie started school years ago. i love to meet her teachers and see what her classrooms are like so i can visualize when she talks about them.

her dad, on the other hand has just stopped attending these and every other one of her events. he didn't go to ONE SINGLE parade or competition last year. we may be divorced, but they're not. he's still her dad and he should SHOW he cares about her. this seeing her once a month stuff is bullshit. not my fault he moved 50 minutes away. i can't believe his wife is okay with it. whatever. i've given up trying to figure it out.

west wing premeire tonight. i hope hope hope the school thing is done before 9.

wow. it worked. i got a call from the ex tonight. he said it will take two cycles for the credit union to make the increase in his direct deposit to my account for his child support payment. he wanted to let me know "they" (gag) were sending a check instead this month, and the new amount should be directly deposited next month. no argument. no discussion. amazing. i am SO relieved. i hadn't heard a peep from him since i sent the letter two weeks ago, and i was afraid i was going to have to fight to get that increase. good for him and good for us!

i feel so blah lately. and anxious i guess. why is there never
enough money? it seems like i will never recover from
christmas. this happens every year. i work hard and i work full time but it never gets any easier. oh and i need my brakes done soooooooo bad. it's bad. i mean like metal on metal bad and i know it's fucking up the rotors. ugh. expenses just seem higher these days. and i am not taking any vacations or buying new wardrobes. i mean just the basics are tough. it was easier when allie was younger. teenagers are expensive dammit! i really need to talk to my ex about increasing his child support and i have just been putting it off. i don't want to get into it with him. and who knows, maybe he won't even blink....it's just the thought of fighting about it that makes me avoid it. i need to deal with it though. i just don't want to beg. allie spends 90% of her time with me and i know the original calculation of child support 6 years ago was not based on that. he was supposed to share custody but because of how far away he lives and the hours he works, he doesn't see her as much as was planned. so i think it's fair. and hell, he can afford it. i don't know, i just don't want it to look like *i* am being greedy.

and so, i worry about money and i don't say anything.